i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
