Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
