i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
