As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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