It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
