RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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