Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
