Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your penis caused this!
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