My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
