i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she looked like the before picture.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
