I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
