I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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