it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
