I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I will pee on everything he values.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How does one acquire holy water?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
