i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
