i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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