Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
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