My first STD was from a foam party
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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