He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
