Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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