im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
