Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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