Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he fucked my hip out of place.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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