He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
