none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
