it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
