took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
