all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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