Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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