Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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