is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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