I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Green mimosas i think yes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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