Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
