Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
no you cant smoke seaweed
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
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