"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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