I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
