Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
4 words: hood of his car
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize