I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
