If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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