he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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