i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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