Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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