oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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