i don't like sucking hair
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
