my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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