if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
