May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
