So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
