i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize