Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
