i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
