Yo dont text me then not text me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
