So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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