i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize
