i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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