if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize