He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
