I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
