So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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