Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My bed smells like the plague
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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