just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
