Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
