she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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