some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
